Coach Josh Gets Off on Deal Cut by Joe Tonon
Following the indictment of Coach Joshua Dean Powers by the Arizona District Attorney, Andrew P. Thomas, for the attempted murder of Joseph William Berkeley’s left knee, the case has been dropped due to extraordinary circumstances.
Destination Cycling Director Joe Tonon has ordered Mr. Berkeley a Scott bicycle with a compact crank for the Tour. This should allow the balding, middle-aged, middle manager to spin his ample buttocks up and over the mountains, rather than grinding his knee into very small particles.
According to inside sources, Coach Joshua Dean Powers was immensely relieved to be exonerated. He said, “I just want to put this nightmare behind me and get back on the bike.”
A snitch at the Coconino County Jail in Flagstaff did not share Mr. Powers’ enthusiasm, “Man, we were hoping Josh would get life. That dude goes like 120 pounds and he shaves his legs. There woulda been a riot to have him as a roommate. He was gonna be my bi___, ah, sweetheart.”
At this time, Joshua Dean Powers was not available for comment.
Destination Cycling Director Joe Tonon has ordered Mr. Berkeley a Scott bicycle with a compact crank for the Tour. This should allow the balding, middle-aged, middle manager to spin his ample buttocks up and over the mountains, rather than grinding his knee into very small particles.
According to inside sources, Coach Joshua Dean Powers was immensely relieved to be exonerated. He said, “I just want to put this nightmare behind me and get back on the bike.”
A snitch at the Coconino County Jail in Flagstaff did not share Mr. Powers’ enthusiasm, “Man, we were hoping Josh would get life. That dude goes like 120 pounds and he shaves his legs. There woulda been a riot to have him as a roommate. He was gonna be my bi___, ah, sweetheart.”
At this time, Joshua Dean Powers was not available for comment.
posted by joe berkeley at 5:58 AM
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