stop & shop

Every time I go to stop & shop there's a lady ahead of me in the line with about 200 coupons. The cashier accepts 199 of them. Then, on the last one, there's a problem. The coupon is either from the year 1952 or so obscure the cashier has to get Heather the Wiser, who is usually about 19 and a half years old, instead of 16.

Heather the wiser surveys the situation, and makes a ruling. In today's case, it was some lady who found a better price on a competitor's turkey so she brought the damn flier in, made stop & shop give her the better price.

So we go through all of this horse manure over $1.20, and fifteen minutes later, it's my turn to check out, and as I'm bagging my own groceries, I discover the lady left the damn turkey behind.

I asked the cashier if I could take the God-forsaken turkey home, and he said no.

Then I had another idea. What if stop and shop opened a special lane at check out with a sign over it that said, "THIS LINE IS ONLY FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT COLOSSAL PAINS IN THE ASS." I'd take a test to make sure that I was not a pain in the ass.

For instance, I don't get to the front of the line, then leave to go grab one more tub of margarine off the shelf in the most distant part of the store.

What do you say?