Open letter to Marty Baron, Editor of The Boston Globe

Dear Marty,

For a long time, I’ve been a loyal Globe reader. So it is with no small amount of regret that I am submitting for your consideration my write-in application for the buyout package.

As of today, I will cease and desist from reading the Globe if you agree to furnish me with the following:

-a check for $9.99 made payable to me
-1 (one) George Foreman Grill, new
-Dan Shaughnessy to mow my lawn on Friday afternoons in season
-Alex Beam to clean my bathrooms
-1 (one) of the Pulitzer Prizes for my mantle (Crisis in the Church will do)
-2 tickets to the Globe’s fat cat box in Fenway for Sox vs. Yankees game
-the sign on your building changed to read, “The New York Times, Boston Bureau”
-health insurance and dental insurance for all Globe hawkers

If my demands are not met within 30 days, I shall continue to read the Globe.

Regards,



Joe Berkeley