thoughts on valentine's day
A water main is a girl’s best friend. A new window is forever. Nothing says I love you like lead flashing.
While some struggle to figure out what to buy their loved ones on romantic occasions, those who live on the South Shore in old houses have no shortage of ideas.
Less than a week before Valentine’s Day, the water main blew. There is nothing romantic about starting your day by taking a two-quart sponge bath in the pasta pot.
So rather than purchase something as thoughtless as a dozen red roses, or as insignificant as under designed undergarments, the doting husband presents the loving wife with the most romantic of gifts…a new water main!
When she twists the spigot, and flowing water greets her rather than huffing and puffing, gurgling nothing, she is overwhelmed with joy.
Once again, the wife gazes into the husband’s eyes and knows that she has made a fine decision choosing a mate, as well as a home.
On other occasions, she has received other unexpected and thrilling gifts such as (close your eyes…now open your eyes) a new hot water heater! With a replaceable zinc!
Sure, chocolate-covered strawberries and chilled champagne look fetching in the movies. But hot water is the gift that keeps on giving.
Old flashing on the roof is leaky flashing. The drip-drip-drip into the bowls placed strategically all over the house is a huge bother.
So the gift of a new roof is always a good gift. And when she tells her friends that the new roof over her head came with an under-layer of ice and water shield, they become pea green with envy.
There is no end to the gift-giving possibilities when one lives in an old house. Want to add a little spark to the relationship on the ten-year anniversary? Try updating the electric service to 220 volts. Yes, yes, yes!
And good looks are one thing. But what could be more beautiful than a spouse who replaces old, ugly, gnarly brass pipes with fresh, new, handsome copper? Oh, it’s more beautiful than gold.
When a cold breeze in winter goes through the old, rickety single-pane windows, new double-insulated windows create birthday memories that last a lifetime.
All in all, living in an old house is enough to make you pity the poor husbands who bought shiny new houses with absolutely nothing wrong with them. What on earth do they buy for the their spouses on special occasions?
While some struggle to figure out what to buy their loved ones on romantic occasions, those who live on the South Shore in old houses have no shortage of ideas.
Less than a week before Valentine’s Day, the water main blew. There is nothing romantic about starting your day by taking a two-quart sponge bath in the pasta pot.
So rather than purchase something as thoughtless as a dozen red roses, or as insignificant as under designed undergarments, the doting husband presents the loving wife with the most romantic of gifts…a new water main!
When she twists the spigot, and flowing water greets her rather than huffing and puffing, gurgling nothing, she is overwhelmed with joy.
Once again, the wife gazes into the husband’s eyes and knows that she has made a fine decision choosing a mate, as well as a home.
On other occasions, she has received other unexpected and thrilling gifts such as (close your eyes…now open your eyes) a new hot water heater! With a replaceable zinc!
Sure, chocolate-covered strawberries and chilled champagne look fetching in the movies. But hot water is the gift that keeps on giving.
Old flashing on the roof is leaky flashing. The drip-drip-drip into the bowls placed strategically all over the house is a huge bother.
So the gift of a new roof is always a good gift. And when she tells her friends that the new roof over her head came with an under-layer of ice and water shield, they become pea green with envy.
There is no end to the gift-giving possibilities when one lives in an old house. Want to add a little spark to the relationship on the ten-year anniversary? Try updating the electric service to 220 volts. Yes, yes, yes!
And good looks are one thing. But what could be more beautiful than a spouse who replaces old, ugly, gnarly brass pipes with fresh, new, handsome copper? Oh, it’s more beautiful than gold.
When a cold breeze in winter goes through the old, rickety single-pane windows, new double-insulated windows create birthday memories that last a lifetime.
All in all, living in an old house is enough to make you pity the poor husbands who bought shiny new houses with absolutely nothing wrong with them. What on earth do they buy for the their spouses on special occasions?
posted by joe berkeley at 2:26 PM
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