sinus drip, early morning, and a story
Today, I had to go to LA for work. The ride Coach Josh prescribed was an hour, so I got up at 3:45 am and road the trainer for an hour before going to the airport, standing in long lines, getting in a center seat on coach, and suffering all the way to Los Angeles.
This story ran in Globe South 'burban diary, which more or less pleases me.
SUBURBAN DIARY
People in short pants: Stand tall
By Joe Berkeley | January 19, 2006
One of the great pleasures of living on the South Shore and working in Boston is that it affords you the opportunity to meet people who are more sophisticated, more intelligent, and more beautiful than you are.
You know the ones, those who call the North Shore home. Recently, an associate who lives on the North Shore took one look at my wardrobe and sneered: ''What is wrong with you? Your pants are, like, 3 inches too short. . . . That is such a South Shore thing."
Were the comment, made by my to-the-manor-born associate, merely slandering my trousers, I could slough it off. But this blue-blooded snob had pulled you into the mud with me. From Quincy to Plymouth, all of us South Shore men, who were happily going about our business, were suddenly on trial.
I could not let the insult go. Injustices and false accusations must be opposed no matter the cost, no matter the consequences.
Although I am not a lawyer, I knew it would be prudent to conduct an investigation before answering the vicious, baseless slam with a well-thought-out counterattack.
Now, there's the rub. Dear reader, friend, fellow South Shore resident, I am sad to report that the snob's cruel allegation does contain a grain of truth -- that an examination of South Shore men and their trousers has revealed a startling inadequacy.
The affliction does not discriminate, as South Shore men of all economic classes, and trousers of all styles, are affected. Sadly, there are South Shore bankers and financial wizards in fine woolen suits with trousers that are too short. There are South Shore computer experts in jeans that are too short. There are South Shore middle managers in business-casual khakis that are too short.
So, while the men of the North Shore look down upon us for our inappropriate trouser length and lack of cuffs that break elegantly over highly polished shoes, it is time for us to look deep into ourselves for answers.
Perhaps the reason there are more flood pants on the South Shore than the North Shore is that, quite simply, there are more floods. It is no secret that during nasty northeasters when the North Shore is high and dry, the South Shore is under water. Seaside towns like Quincy, Hull, Duxbury, and Plymouth struggle to keep their cars and their trousers above water. You never know when a flood is coming. It's good to be prepared.
Of course, there's the matter of tradition. The greatest surfman of all time, Joshua James, a Hullonian who is credited with saving hundreds of lives, in all likelihood did not want to be tripping over his trousers while running toward his surfboat in the kind of gale-force winds that would send a North Shore man scurrying for his monogrammed pajamas.
Then again, perhaps South Shore men have better things to think about than the length of their trousers. Eleanor Roosevelt once said, ''Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people." Surely, only the most minuscule mind would waste time discussing trouser length and other fashion fouls.
Thus, in the never-ending debate between North Shore and South, the South will concede to the North Shore that, yes, when it comes to trouser length, you are our superior. We salute you. But rest assured, there is no pair of trousers on earth that will ever make up for an over-abundance of arrogance.
Joe Berkeley lives in Hull and can be reached at josephwilliamberkeleyjr@yahoo.com. He welcomes any insight on the issue of trouser length on the South Shore.
© Copyright 2005 The New York Times Company
This story ran in Globe South 'burban diary, which more or less pleases me.
SUBURBAN DIARY
People in short pants: Stand tall
By Joe Berkeley | January 19, 2006
One of the great pleasures of living on the South Shore and working in Boston is that it affords you the opportunity to meet people who are more sophisticated, more intelligent, and more beautiful than you are.
You know the ones, those who call the North Shore home. Recently, an associate who lives on the North Shore took one look at my wardrobe and sneered: ''What is wrong with you? Your pants are, like, 3 inches too short. . . . That is such a South Shore thing."
Were the comment, made by my to-the-manor-born associate, merely slandering my trousers, I could slough it off. But this blue-blooded snob had pulled you into the mud with me. From Quincy to Plymouth, all of us South Shore men, who were happily going about our business, were suddenly on trial.
I could not let the insult go. Injustices and false accusations must be opposed no matter the cost, no matter the consequences.
Although I am not a lawyer, I knew it would be prudent to conduct an investigation before answering the vicious, baseless slam with a well-thought-out counterattack.
Now, there's the rub. Dear reader, friend, fellow South Shore resident, I am sad to report that the snob's cruel allegation does contain a grain of truth -- that an examination of South Shore men and their trousers has revealed a startling inadequacy.
The affliction does not discriminate, as South Shore men of all economic classes, and trousers of all styles, are affected. Sadly, there are South Shore bankers and financial wizards in fine woolen suits with trousers that are too short. There are South Shore computer experts in jeans that are too short. There are South Shore middle managers in business-casual khakis that are too short.
So, while the men of the North Shore look down upon us for our inappropriate trouser length and lack of cuffs that break elegantly over highly polished shoes, it is time for us to look deep into ourselves for answers.
Perhaps the reason there are more flood pants on the South Shore than the North Shore is that, quite simply, there are more floods. It is no secret that during nasty northeasters when the North Shore is high and dry, the South Shore is under water. Seaside towns like Quincy, Hull, Duxbury, and Plymouth struggle to keep their cars and their trousers above water. You never know when a flood is coming. It's good to be prepared.
Of course, there's the matter of tradition. The greatest surfman of all time, Joshua James, a Hullonian who is credited with saving hundreds of lives, in all likelihood did not want to be tripping over his trousers while running toward his surfboat in the kind of gale-force winds that would send a North Shore man scurrying for his monogrammed pajamas.
Then again, perhaps South Shore men have better things to think about than the length of their trousers. Eleanor Roosevelt once said, ''Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people." Surely, only the most minuscule mind would waste time discussing trouser length and other fashion fouls.
Thus, in the never-ending debate between North Shore and South, the South will concede to the North Shore that, yes, when it comes to trouser length, you are our superior. We salute you. But rest assured, there is no pair of trousers on earth that will ever make up for an over-abundance of arrogance.
Joe Berkeley lives in Hull and can be reached at josephwilliamberkeleyjr@yahoo.com. He welcomes any insight on the issue of trouser length on the South Shore.
© Copyright 2005 The New York Times Company
posted by joe berkeley at 3:13 PM
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