What in hell do you know about restaurants anyway?

You may think Zagat's knows a good restaurant. You may think Hainline's blog is the place to find a good restaurant. I am here to inform you that you are sadly mistaken on both counts. If you want to find fine food, the first thing you have to look for is a restaurant with a big red sign. And it shouldn't be subtle. The table cloths should be red and white check. The menu should have red type on a white background. There should be at least 200 items on the menu, maybe more. Next, you have to be sure the place has insanely huge portions, and delicious, carbo-filled food. We found both at the finest restaurant in all of California, Bucca di Beppo. Two hungry men can split a salad and a pasta dish and still leave with leftovers for lunch tomorrow. That's eating. That's style. That's my kind of place and I give it five stars and if you don't like it you don't know a damn thing about fine food.