Gap to Alpe d'Huez

7/17/06
Stage 15
Gap-Alpe D’Huez
187 kilometers, plus 15 bonus kilometers

Today was epic, and the team approached the day with a mixture of fear and respect. We had more than 14,500 feet of climbing to take care of, and there was no sense taking the task lightly.

After the rest day, Coach Joshua Dean Powers was refreshed and relaxed, and he wound the pace up quickly, with authority. We can no longer blame his University of Northern Arizona shorts, as he sported his team shorts, which list a private investigator as sponsor. The PI’s tagline is, “A reasonable doubt for a reasonable price.”

The Col d’Izoard was our first climb, and we took care of it in fine fashion. It must be noted that the weather was spectacular, and the views of the Alps, with water gushing from the tops, down large waterfalls, into running streams, were nothing short of spectacular.

Our second climb of the day was different. The roads were smooth, there were no campers pestering us, and the gradient was beautiful. Everyone commented on the fact that it was the most stunning climb of the trip. That’s when Brian in the van informed us that we were on the wrong climb. Oh my. As we were at least 6 kilometers up the climb, we had to stop, go back down, and find the correct mountain.

We did, and set about the cruel task of completing that piece of business. The team had good karma today. Mark looked like he was feeling better, and he was climbing well. Alberto had a good climbing day, as did Rob. The twin diesels, Patrick and Jimmy always have good climbing days, and Jimmy seemed especially happy today, as he had a very good night’s sleep. Patrick was his normal, pleasant, strong, self.

The descent from the top of the Col du Lautaret was fast, and filled with campers and cars with attitude. Very dodgy.

At the base of Alpe d’Huez, the team had a split. Three people wanted to go to a world-renowned bicycle shop at the base. The rest of the group wanted to take care of the climb on the famous Alp.

I went with Josh and Mark to the shop, and we bought a couple of hats. Nothing too heavy, as we would have to carry it to the top of the climb. The rest of the team went to the Alp.

This may be the most famous climb in all of cycling, and rightly so. Christian Montaignac wrote, “Since Hannibal’s elephants first opened a path across the area, there has been nothing as crushing as this man Armstrong in these mountains.” On these roads, he dissected his rivals and smeared the pavement with their guts.

My humble ride up the legendary climb was dedicated to Dr. Andrew Reisner, he of the emergency room, who put me back together at 1:30 in the morning, approximately 3 weeks ago.

As I left the ER, I told him I would ride Alpe d’Huez in his honor, and he was on my mind during the climb. I started with Coach Josh, but that didn’t last long. On the first steep ramp, his internal climbing mechanism clicked on, and he floated up, up, and away.

One rider passed me, but I let him go, as he looked erratic. I stayed within myself, did my own ride, and halfway up, reeled in the offender.

For the rest of the climb, I slowly but surely passed one rider after another. The feeling is great. Hats off to Coach Josh for preparing me for the trip.

We enjoyed pizza and Coke in front of our hotel, then joined up with the crew for a homemade dinner Joe Tonon, Erin Berard, and Jason put together. Everyone agreed it was the best meal of the trip. Then, exhausted, we all collapsed.

I write to you from my bed in the hotel at the top of Alpe d’Huez.
Outside, half a million fans are tenting, camping, RVing, partying. Danes are drunk and disorderly, singing songs, banging beer bottles.

Tomorrow, we get up at 5:00 am, eat at 5:30 am, and get on the bikes at 6:00 am. Coach Josh says he only sees 5:00 once a day, and it’s not in the morning.

When I originally tried to save some money on the trip, I asked Director Joe Tonon if I could have a roommate. He said, “no.”

Now, I know why. The trip is one where you get very little time alone, and to be in your own room is very nice.

The staff each gets a roommate. The mechanic on the staff is a Dane named Brian, who is a great mechanic, as well as a champion snorer. Brian talks in his sleep, gasps, and makes a racket you can hear from three rooms away.

He went through numerous roommates until Patrick volunteered to bunk up with him. Said Patrick to our Director, “Joe, I can sleep anywhere. I fell asleep on the back of a motorcycle (that was moving) once, and the only reason I woke up is my foot fell off the peg, and burned a hole in my shoe.”

The gauntlet was lain down. The first night, Brian entered the room, took care of his ablutions, and said to Patrick, “Is it time to go to sleep sweet heart?” Within seconds, Brian was out cold. Within minutes, he was snoring, talking, making all sorts of interesting, but above all, loud sounds.

Even the amazing Patrick Kildow, he who could doze in a bus, in a plane, in a train, on a snowbank at lunch, even on the back of a f Honda with a less than perfect muffler at sixty miles per hour, couldn’t get so much as two winks. Counting sheep wasn’t going to get the job done. Mr. Kildow had no earplugs, so he improvised by stuffing tissue paper in his ear. And went to sleep.

Only problem was in the morning, he couldn’t get the makeshift earplugs out. So he went to his best friend in the world, Jimmy Railey, and asked him if there was something stuck in his ear.

Jimmy had a look, and did what any great friend would do. He laughed hysterically for five minutes, barely able to control his bodily functions. Once he regained his composure, he found the tweezers from his suitcase, and somehow, removed the offending Kleenex without puncturing Mr. Kildow’s eardrum.

Tonight, the crew sleeps in a condominium with a gorgeous view. As Patrick was still Brian’s roommate, he decided to do something about his lot in life. The condo had a veranda, so Patrick dragged a mattress out there, and made a beautiful outdoor sleeping perch for himself.

Imagine his shock and horror when he went to go to bed and found Brian happily snoring in his nest. No worries. He took another mattress out to the second veranda, and set up out there. The waterfall drowned out the racket.

Due to the loud Saunier Duval team next door, Brian and Patrick were the only two people who got a full night sleep. Brian quite enjoys outdoor sleeping.

It’s late, and the drunken Danes below are banging away, so I best turn out the lights and wish you well. Tomorrow is a long day, and it begins early, in cold weather.

Since I train in cold weather, and routinely get up at 4:00 am to ride, I hope to be in my element.

Best to all,

JWB